


Masquerade Arts

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Child Abuse, FTM Dave, Gender Dysphoria, I really need to stop writing these, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Trans Character, Transgender, online buddies, poor Dave, runaway teen, un supporting family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 06:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3239693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day Elizabeth decides she's had enough of hiding<br/>She's done with it<br/>No more forced gender<br/>No more Elizabeth<br/>It's Dave now<br/>And he's running away to his best friend for help</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [breath_e](https://archiveofourown.org/users/breath_e/gifts).



You sat down at your computer desk after getting home.

Your hands shook slightly, You were unsure.

Unsure about asking John but also unsure about running away.

Soon you finally open up a chat with him, taking a deep breath and moving your long hair out of your face.

'TG: sup john'

'EB: hey dave!'

You smile. It always feels right when he says your name, your right name that is.

'TG: hey i need to ask you something'

'TG: something serious'

'EB: what is it?'

'TG: if i were to runaway'

'TG: would i be able to go to you?'

'EB: of course dave!'

'EB: i dont think dad would mind having you around'

'EB: and youre so nice and mannerful i dont think he would have any problem'

'EB: but why are you asking?'

'TG: i was just wondering'

'TG: thanks egbert'

'TG: now i have to go bros calling me'

'EB: bye dave!'

You take a deep breath as you lean back.

Time to pack up and get ready to leave when Bro goes to work.

* * *

 

After packing up some of your things and your money which you had saved for months so you had money for bus tickets or cabs.

You hid your backpack under your bed as you waited.

"Kid I'm leaving! I'll be back around midnight. Better be asleep by then!" You bite your lip as you hear him leave.

You wait about thirty minutes before grabbing your bag and heading out.

You figure the bus stops would be closed by now as it's around 10 so you quickly hail a cab.

You get in and tell the driver an address that's around ten minutes away.

You don't want to spend too much on one ride.

You'll find an alley or something to sleep in for the night once you get there, you just need to get far enough away that Bro wouldn't look.

Maybe ten minutes wasn't the best but you take it anyway.

After stopping you get out and pay the man before starting to walk.

You walk down the streets for a while and soon find a dark alley, biting your lip you slip into the dark and sit down.

You curl up with a small sigh and rub your arms.

It's hot in Texas but the alley is freezing.

You sigh a bit and soon drift off against the wall.

* * *

 

You woke up when the sun did thanks to the brightness.

You sigh a bit as you push yourself up and head to take the first bus you can.

To Washington. 

You really hope you have enough money for the trip, even if it means not eating for a few days it would be worth it.

'Maybe not.' You think as your stomach growls.

You shake your head.

You can eat on the bus or something.

Maybe buy the ticket before you buy something to eat.

You nod to yourself as you start towards the bus station. 

You buy a ticket and have just enough to buy some food from McDonalds. 

You sigh happily and you get on the bus with your small food bag. After settling down in your seat as the bus moves you eat quickly.

After that you settle down for the long ride.

The bus stops for food breaks and toilet breaks ever so often.

Well its more like they stop for gas but still.

You use the bathroom but are pretty broke so you don't have enough money to buy anything to eat.

So you just get back on the bus and curl up in your seat.

You see people get on and off as the ride goes on.

You start to fall asleep at some point and do.

Soon you get shaken awake.

By soon actually its a few hours later.

The driver, who had switched with several people and was now not the same as when you got on.

"This is the last stop for the night, Maple valley, Washington. You getting off?" You quickly nod and stand up, grabbing your bag and thanking him as you step off the bus.

You wonder if John has messaged you at all.

You left your phone at home.

Deleted your pesterlogs that you talked about running away with Rose and the one where you asked John about letting you stay. 

Just so that if he happened to look he wouldn't find anything about where you was going.

 You decide you can walk to Johns in the morning since you're starting to fall asleep. 

You find another dark alley and make your way into it.

You can feel the knots in your hair and you really don't care.

They're gonna be hell to get out later though.

You sigh, curling up in a small ball with a yawn.

You slowly fall asleep, curled up in a dark alley.

* * *

 

Waking up in the morning is a pain in the back.

Literally.

You groan as you stretch and then grab you back.

Your back audibly pops and you whince a bit before starting to walk.

You assume you look like a mess.

Messy, probably greasy, and knotted up hair.

Sleepy eyes.

Dirty clothes.

You sigh.

You just can't wait to get to Johns.

It's gonna be hard to explain that you're pretty much a guy in a girls body and have (kinda?) been lying to him but hopefully he'll understand.

Knowing him he will though.

You start walking, and you know its gonna be a long walk.

You spend hours walking, your feet hurt and you're ready to pass out by the time you find the suburban neighborhood.

You walk until you see the numbers on the side or the door.

413.

You take a deep breath and slowly walk up the porch.

You figure its gonna be weird having a seemingly homeless person knocking on your door.

You take a deep breath and knock, shifting on your feet awkwardly.

You can smell vanilla and you assume Johns dad must be baking, John was always complaining about it.

The door opens soon after.

A well shaven man with a forda and a pipe smoke was standing in front of you, he was wearing a nice suit and smelt of cake.

Johns dad.

"Hello young lady. How may I help you?"

"Uh... Not lady..." You mutter quietly.

"Oh sorry young man. But how may I help you?"

You take a deep breath.

"Um... I'm here to see John. Would he happen to be home?"

"Ah yes he is. Give me just a moment to get him. Why don't you come in?" He gave you a small smile and you nodded carefully.

You stepped inside and looked around, it was a nice house.

Clean, usable furniture, wood floors.

Nothing like the apartment you were used to staying in.

You awkwardly sit on the couch, hoping you don't get it dirty, as you wait for Mr.Egbert to get John.

Soon you hear fast footsteps coming down the stairs and then they stop at the end.

You can see him out of the corner of your eye raise an eyebrow.

"Dad I thought you said it was a guy?"

"Son, if someone says that what they are you call them as they wish." You see John just nod awkwardly.

"Right..." He slowly walks over to you and you brace for it as he plops next to you.

"So I have no idea who you are or how you got here so wanna tell me how you knew my name and address? and why you look like such a mess?" He asks and you take a breath.

"I'm Dave. I'm your best friend, that's how I know your name. I've sent you many birthday gifts and that's how I know your address. I look like a mess because I ran away a few days ago and have been sleeping in alleys." 

He just kinda, stares at you.

"Wait... Dave?" He asked, and you can hear the tone of surprise in his voice.

"Holy shit Dave." He hugged you and you just hug back.

"You could've told me you were trans..." He muttered to you.

"Wasn't quite ready." You mutter back feeling him nod against your shoulder.

"You can stay here... I mean." John looked up at his dad.

"Can he stay?"

"Of course the young man can." You smile a bit.

Every time someone uses the right pronouns for you it feels like a fairy is born or something.

 You smile a bit happily at the two.

"Thanks a lot Mr.Egbert." You tell him.

"Ah, just call me Dad, but it's no problem. Any friend of Johns is welcome here."


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Dadbert (as you like to call him in your mind, though he told you just to call him Dad) cut your hair for you.

It was a long process of combing and a few yelps from you before he actually got to cutting it.

You were honestly a bit sad to see your long locks go but they had to go, if they didn't you would continue to be considered a girl.

You really didn't care how your hair was cut just as long as it wasn't a long cut.

After Dadbert was done he gave you a mirror and you were happy to see how short your hair was, Bro never let you cut it, it stayed long and uncut until now.

When you hugged Dadbert you found yourself a bit scared he was going to shove you away but instead he just patted your back.

You smile just the faintest and pull back. John beams at you and raises his hand. You instantly flinch and shrink back, he looks confused.

"You okay...? I was just gonna high five you." You just slowly nod and raise your hand to high five him. Can't lose your cool in front of him, he'll think you're weak.

"You alright Dave?" Dadbert asked, resting one of his hands on your shoulder. You nod.

"Yep, perfectly fine. More then fine man." He seems to take this answer and gave a court nod.

You kinda hope he didn't catch on to why you actually did.

 

* * *

 

 

Dadbert was glad to school you. You had been homeschooled most of your life, your brother took you out of school when you were in first grade and all of the kids were teasing you and bullying you with your eyes.

John thought you had a pair of shades like your brothers to cover your eyes but in reality you didn't have anything.

You were more then happy when he sent you the round shades you wore now for your 13th birthday.

John must've told Dadbert this and since he wouldn't be able to get you anything that would keep teachers from taking your shades away in school, plus you're a little behind thanks to the fact of Bro just stopping teaching you at one point.

You're thankful Dadbert is helping you, not getting mad when you don't understand a pretty simple question.

You sleep in the guest room of the house, they haven't said anything about making it more of your room but you assume it's because they don't know how long you're gonna stay and honestly neither do you.

You curl up in the bed, blanket pulled over yourself as you try to sleep.

Sometimes sleep comes easily, sometimes it's a chore.

You sigh as you roll over, tossing the blankets off yourself and staring up at the ceiling.

You begin to wonder why Dadbert and John are being so nice to you, why they're bothering.

You're just some kid that showed up at their doorstep, you wonder if they actually care, especially John, sure he's one of your best friends but that was over the internet.

That was before he knew the biggest secret of your life, well maybe not the biggest, but one of the biggest.

You sigh a bit, your eyes getting heavy, you just hope that John and his dad won't just kick you out one day.

* * *

_You were nine, your tiny hands in small fists at your sides. You couldn't go back now, you had already called his name, you had already opened yourself up to him and now had his full attention._

_"Come on kid what is it?" Bro asked you and you gulped down the lump in your throat, looking around at the swords he never let you play with, he said you wouldn't be able to handle them as a girl. Maybe once you told him he would teach you how, so the words fell from your mouth faster then your mind could catch up to what you were saying._

_"I'm not a girl." The four words lifted a huge weight off your shoulders and it felt good._

_"'Course you are." He said and the weight fell right back. "You've got the parts Elizabeth, there's no changing it."_

_"But I am!" You almost shouted back. "There's a word for it Bro! That... That means it's real right?" Yours heart thumped quickly in your chest._

_"Oh yeah?" He asked. "What's the word. Say it then spell it."_

_It wasn't unusal for you two to do this, Bro was trying to help you with your spelling so sometimes he would make you spell things out._

_You racked your brain and spoke, your voice having more power to it then you expected._

_"Transgender... T-R-A-N-S-G-E-N-D-E-R." He looked at you for a moment then made a buzzer like sound._

_"Wrong." You flinched a bit at that you were sure you got it right "It's F-R-E-A-K."_

_That made you flinch again, you knew that word, it was freak._

_He was calling you a freak._

_It set you off, you started shouting. "I'm not a freak! I'm not a S-H-E I'm a H-E!" You don't know why you started spelling out what you were trying to say, maybe in your tiny mind it you figured that if you did he would change his mind._

_"Please Bro I'm serious! I'm a guy not a girl!" You were holding back your tears as you shouted, chocking on some words._

_Bro stared at you for a moment before walking over, he raised his hand, you were sure he was gonna pat you on the head, tell you you did good and suggest going to go get some guy clothes or going up to the roof and learning how to use one of the swords, but he didn't._

_His hand came down hard with a force that sent you to the ground holding your face._

_"Room." He said harshly._

_"But Bro-."_

_"I said go to your room." You flinched and nodded, slowly pushing yourself up and running to your room._

_The next few days every time he would call you she you quietly corrected him under your breath and would get a slap._

_After almost a week you stopped correcting him, it just brought you pain, but one day you snapped again, shouting to him that no, you aren't a girl you're a boy._

_He did something different that time._

_Instead of slapping you he picked you up, tossed you over his shoulder, you were confused and too scared to fight back._

_He tossed you on his bed and you wanted to curl up, hide in fear of your own brother but he held your legs down._

_"We're gonna have a little lesson." The way he said it made you flinch once again._

_He yanked your skirt down (he tossed out all your jeans after you told him, refusing to let yourself think you were a guy) and your panties came next, that's when you started to squirm, to scream and cry._

_It got worse when a far too dry and far too big finger found its way in, you screamed louder and louder and some how the neighbors didn't complain about the cries and screams for him to **stop** and somehow Bro ignored you too._

_It became regular, the 'lessons'. Every time it made you want to die, to just leave. Then you remember meeting Jade on some forum, then came Rose and John. You talked to them a lot after he did it, after he hurt you._

_He still hit you too and that hurt but his 'lessons' hurt you more._

 

* * *

 

 

You shot up with a small scream, the memories even made you hurt and you curled up in the guest bed, pulling your blankets over yourself and trying not to cry.

Sobs racked your body and you shook in your small ball, it was painful, every memory with Bro after that day was painful and it hurt you, it hurt you more then someone considering you a girl.

You could feel the tears pooling down your cheeks, over the bridge of your nose thanks to the way you were curled up, but you didn't bother to wipe them away, you just let them pour down your face.

The memories continued that day, they kept popping up in your mind and hurt, they hurt so much but you couldn't be weak, you couldn't cry.

But you wanted to, so badly you wanted to.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Le sad sad

_"Come on Elizabeth even_ **_girls_ ** _aren't that weak." Bro scowled at you. You flinch and instantly try to stand before being kicked again._

_"Down you mutt!" You let out a whine at his yelling, it hurt, everything hurt and you just wanted to go back to your room._

_"Come onnnnn Elizabeth! Tell me what you're doing all the time in there huh?" You hole up in your room more then you should._

_Bro caught on and here you are now, on the floor, bruises starting to form where he kicked you._

_"Answer me!"_

_"I'm not doing anything I just want to be alone!" You yell at him, shaking._

_"Don't you **EVER** **DARE** to raise your voice at me again!" You get another kick that makes you cry out and curl up in a ball._

_"Come on Elizabeth you aren't that weak huh?" He kicks you again. "You wanna be a guy huh? Then you need to learn to take this!" You cry out again when he kicks you._

_"Please... Please... Stop..." You cry. "Stop please."_

_"You want me to stop? Well too bad." You cry out when he harshly picks you up and starts heading for his room._

 

* * *

 

You shoot up in bed with a cry, panting and wiping your face.

Fuck it was too much.

The nightmares were too much and you were scared shitless, but if you admitted it you would be weak.

But sometimes you just have to be.

You stand up, wiping your eyes and grabbing your shades. You put them on before slowly opening the door.

You quietly make your way down the hall and to Johns room before knocking quietly.

"John?" You whisper out, you hear shuffling before a sleepy John answers the door.

"Dave?" He asked, stepping aside to let the other in. "Why are you up at..." John squinted at his clock, his glasses resting next to it. "Four in the morning?"

"I uh..." You awkwardly rub the back of your neck. "I had a nightmare and... I know how childish it is but I just... Can I sleep with you?"

John chuckled a bit, laying down and leaving room for You.

"Sure Dave. Now come lay down and cuddle me before I pass back out." You smile a bit and walk over, laying down and wrapping your arms around John.

He nuzzled into you and closed his eyes. "Night Dave." You smile a bit more.

"Night John." He slowly drifts off in your arms and you fall asleep after a minute or so as well.

 You wake up the next morning to the sound of chuckling and hushed yells.

"Dad! It's not like that!' You pretended to still be asleep.

"Sure it is son." You hear Dadbert say.

"Dad... We aren't I swear! I mean... I'm not opposed to it but he doesn't like me okay? I don't think he even likes himself right now..."

You can easily tell he's doing his 'awkwardly-ring-my-hands-together-to-calm-myself' thing and you don't blame him.

"It's alright son, I understand. Come on, let's let the boy sleep hm?"

John nods and you feel him get out of bed, you hear the door shut softly.

You roll over, pulling blankets with you and curl up in a small ball.

You close your eyes and doze off again after a few minutes, only to be greeted with more memories.

 

* * *

 

_You always liked being alone, more so now then ever.  
_

_Holing up in your room when you get the chance is the best you're getting now._

_Then and when Bro goes out to get piss drunk, coming home to pass out on the futon._

_You surf the internet, you're glad he hasn't taken your shitty pc away from you yet._

_You downloaded some chat client called pesterchum for shits and giggles._

  _The thing opens up and asks you for a 'chumhandle' which you assume is a fancy name for a username._

_You spend a goo few minutes thinking one up before typing in 'turntechGodhead'._

_A window appears after that, asking for your name._

_Without thinking you type 'Dave Strider' because that's your name, at least, it should be your name._

_Afterwards another pops up, asking for your gender. You gulp a bit and click male before you can change your mind._

_The next one that comes up is interests. You take a minute to think before typing a bunch of shit you've shown some interest in._

_'Photography, art, sbahj, fighting, game bro' You can't think of anything else so after that so you click enter._

_You minimize the client and continue goofing around the internet until you hear a ding and a chat box appears from pesterchum._

 

**_\-- ghostlyTrickster [GT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  at 21:30 \--_ **

 

_GT: hi there!  
_

_GT: wow okay this is probably weird for some stranger to message you._

_GT: but uh._

_GT: im john._

_GT: and uh._

_GT: youre dave._

_GT: i saw you liked sbahj so i just kinda wanted to talk i guess._

 

_You're a little too shocked to answer at first but after a few minutes you do._

 

_TG: yo_

_TG: nice to meet you i guess_

_TG: and yeah this is awkward as fuck for me_

_TG: but hi i guess_

_GT: hello!_

_GT: im sorry if im making you uncomfortable._

_TG: nah its fine_

_GT: you sure?_

_TG: yeah im sure_

 

_You spend a few more minutes talking to the guy and he adds you as a chum when he has to go to bed, so you add him back and then dick around some more._

_Once you hear Bro come home you quickly shut off the computer._

_He always yells at you to go to bed before he leaves and you never do._

_You rush to get into bed and trip, falling to the ground with an audible thump._

_You freeze, eyes wide, you stumble to get up and in bed before he comes in._

  _You pull the blanket over yourself and close your eyes just as you hear the door open._

_You try to pretend you're asleep, you try to avoid what you knew was coming._

_You let out a squeak as he roughly yanks you out of the bed._

_You can smell the alcohol on his breath as he yells._

_"What the fuck are you doin' awake kid!" You wince at his voice, not able to answer as you clench up in fear. "Answer me!"_

_"I couldn't sleep. Please don't hurt me." You beg, you know it won't work, it never does._

_He tossed you to the ground, you landed on something that periced your back and made you let out a cry._

  _Bro straddled you, pushing you more into the thing cutting your back. He reared back his fist and punched you right in the nose._

_You cried a bit again as he punched him again._

_He kept punching you, over and over, punch, punch, punch._

_It hurt, so much, so so much._

_You let out cries and whimpers, whines and screams._

_He left you after a while, leaving you a bloodly mess._

_You slowly pull yourself up and into your bed, curling up and starting to sob._

_Your entire body ached and hurt._

_You were pretty sure you had a broken nose too._

  _You just wanted to be heard, to be understood and loved._

_You cry yourself to sleep, like always._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is crap and I'm really sorry about that. I wasn't done with it but its been too long so I went ahead and posted it


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been well over a few months i'm so sorry for this but im trying to get back into writing i kinda lost my mojo for a bit (and a laptop which made it hard to write and i kinda didnt wanna write this kinda stuff at the local library) but im back i swear! im gonna try to update as regularly as possible!

 You shot awake, eyes watering, fuck, you were crying in your sleep.

You could smell pancakes and bacon from downstairs, causing your stomach to growl at you.

You sigh a bit, standing, to be honest the smell of breakfast was a comforting thing to wake up to, you hadn't had a good breakfast in a while.

You run your hands through your, now short hair and smile a bit, you had almost forgot it had been cut.

You grab your shades from the nightstand, slid them on and yawn a bit, rubbing your eyes under the shades as you headed sleepily down the stairs.

You see Dadbert and John standing in the kitchen, Dadbert was cooking and John was brewing a pot of coffee, they were talking happily and it seemed like a normal routine for them.

You headed into the kitchen, almost feeling as if you were intruding. "Hey, good morning." John smiled and hugged you.

"Morning!" He seemed too chipper to even need the coffee he was making. "Sleep well?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah I slept well." You give John a small smile as he bounds over to check the coffee.

"Want any coffee Dave? It's ready." You nod.

"Yeah I would if you didn't mind, thanks."

"Oh no problem!" You watch as John pours three cups, fixing two of them with creamer and sugar. "I don't know how much you like of anything so go ahead and fix it yourself."

"Alright, thanks, again." John smiled at you as you fixed up the coffee, sipping at it a bit and watching John talk to his dad while he finished up breakfast.

Three plates were fixed up with pancakes and bacon, one being handed to you.

"Thanks." You said, for what felt like the one millionth time today.

"No problem." Dadbert said.

You headed to the table with the two Egberts, sitting down and starting to pick a bit at your food, eating small bites.

You weren't used to much food, only being able to sneak left over pizza crust or bits of chinese food once Bro fell asleep and you snuck out and got whatever was left.

Sometimes Bro would feed you, give you an apple or one of those really small easy to peel oranges, they never filled you up though, you were always left with a half empty stomach.

You took small bites, slowly letting yourself get filled up and basically zoning out, not paying attention to the conversation going on until you heard your name.

"Huh?" You ask.

"Dad asked you a question, you look a little zoned out though."

"Yeah sorry. What did you ask Mr.Egbert?"

"I have to do some shopping later and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me? I was thinking maybe we could get you some new clothes while we were out. As I doubt you enjoy only having skirts to wear."

"Yes Sir that would be nice." You give him a small smile. "Thank you."

"No problem Dave, and like I said before, please, call me dad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short and I am so so sorry for that, like I said I'm trying to get back into writting so it'll probably be short chapters a bit until I get back into writing long one, but yayyy! I'm finally updating this again and I'm working on more chaoters for other works I swear!


	5. Authors note

Hey yo, i know this isnt what youre looking for and u are probably like me

and hate authors notes

sorry if you thought it was a chapter or anything

its not

okay so basically

ive been busy as fucking hell

im gonna try to write some more of this tonight

and attempt to update this tonight

but dont hold me to it

im going to try but life has been hectic to say the least

eeeeh

ill try to get this updated tonight but like i said dont hold me to it

 


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